What are you doing on New Year's Eve?

What are you doing on New Year's Eve?

{This is adorbs. If you haven't watched it yet, you need to!}

I thought I had it all figured out. I had the sparkly dress and the hotel room. Plans with friends. Things didn't work out. Husband has to work later than expected and who wants to rush to make it to check into a hotel before midnight? {We'd have to drive almost two hours to get there.} The cancellation fee was the same price as the room. Do you what's fun? Getting paid to stay in a room that you can't use. We are trying to find someone to use it so it doesn't go to waste, but in cancelling the room... I was charged earlier than expected {i.e., I got paid today and not yesterday when they ran my card.} It set off a pretty big financial windfall that feels impossible to recover from. It's certainly not a good way to begin the year.

I work for a non-profit. I *love* my job. I have never been happier. My commute is 5 minutes. I enjoy the people I work with and the tasks that I complete. However, I have my Master's degree and I'm sure you know non-profits don't exactly pay a lot. Those loans will have to start being paid off soon (like... this month), and my salary just doesn't have that much wiggle room to even begin to think about paying off my educational debt. Where do I go from here? As the new year begins, it's really hard to feel the positivity that it will hopefully bring.

I'm certainly blessed to have a job--especially one that isn't terrible. I've had a lot of awful jobs in the past and took the hit to my salary to be happy. However, happiness can only go so far when you're struggling to make everything work. If just one unexpected charge through my bank account throws it into turmoil, things aren't as rosy as I would have hoped by now.

I always say... well I'll be back on track next month. And, next month rolls around and something else happens.

I never post anything that is slightly negative on here, but I had to type it all out. Maybe you will understand. Or have advice. Maybe it really will get better next year, next month. Maybe even next week. Maybe things will straighten themselves out.

People make do on much less than what I have, so I do realize how lucky I am. There are times though when I want to get ahead and not just get by.

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Google recently released their “Zeitgeist 2011: How the World Searched” and the video was set to Mat Kearney’s [who I love] “Sooner or Later.”

It's been one hell of a year. Maybe I should just remember I have everything that I could ever want and things aren't that bad. :-) I mean, I did splurge on some lobster tails and steak for dinner tonight. I have a bottle of pink moscato bubbly chilling. So... it's not my fancy New Year's out and about, but at least we will be together. There's something to be said about that.